身為明星學校的學生，仍學習探求自己的未來 ── Yang Ji-Wong 양지원 (南韓)
20到30歲，正是重要卻充滿不確定性的時光，所以我們傾聽彼此的聲音，也許從對方的樣子裡，我們可以發現一個更好的自己。每個人的終點都不盡相同，因此我們不提供答案，只是尋找答案路上的風景。 專欄企劃 《Worldwide 20 Somethings》， 7位青年，來自世界的不同角落，與你分享他們的故事和想法，期待你來傾聽未來的聲音。
Yang Ji-Won (양지원)，目前就讀首爾國立大學文理學院（主修經濟學與人力資源開發），刻意延畢一年，好找尋自己未來的方向。
「妳主修科系是什麼？妳喜歡這個科系嗎？為什麼？」
我目前就讀於首爾大學文理學院，這是在首爾國立大學的一個特殊的學制，因為學生可以「創造」自己的專業領域。例如，我在大三時創建了「人力資源開發」這個「個人專長」１。雖然人力資源開發是一個既有的知識領域，但因為課程中沒有人力資源這個項目，所以我決定自創這個專長，可以按照自己的方向和脈絡來研究人力資源開發。我擬定的修課進程是先收集其他科系所有課程的訊息，並選擇自己想要加入的課程。構建的課程會由系上的教授進行審查，一旦確認，我將成為第一位在新制專業下學習的學生。
正如我們學院的名稱「文理學院(Liberal Arts)」，這讓我可以在一個非常自由的學術環境中學習。首爾國立大學經濟學系也很自由，因為我們學校認為，廣泛的知識對於成為偉大的經濟學家是很重要的（這和其他專業如：工、商、管理完全相反）。當然，讓學生自由選擇要採取什麼課程一定有利弊。例如，許多學生抱怨沒有足夠的指導。而且由個人編排的自由專業課程需要承受的風險，大於其他專業科系已經規劃好的課程。幸運的是，我很喜歡教育學、心理學、經濟學、工商管理學、法學和人類學等各個領域的課程。這和高中不同的是，它不必聽每年都上一樣的課程內容，它可以自由學習當下感興趣的東西，這樣的學習方式才具有真正的意義和樂趣。將不同領域的知識聯繫在一起會激發新的思想，這使整個學習過程更生動有趣，也是非常令人激動的。如果你問我「喜歡這個自由專長嗎？」答案無庸置疑：「是」。
「在台灣，20多歲的年輕人常對生活感到失落。那韓國的情況呢？」
韓國青年也很容易在生活中迷失。就像甫當選的新總統，上任就要面對韓國史上最嚴重，已經連續三個月高達11％的青年失業率一樣。現在有將近40萬名大學生 ── 幾乎是每年韓國大學畢業生的人數 ── 想要成為公務員。因為公務員被公認為是穩定、有保障的工作。曾經是Quantum Fund（音譯：昆騰基金會）聯合創始人的美國投資人吉姆．羅傑斯（Jim Rogers）曾對韓國提出警告：「追求穩定工作」的現象正持續發酵，並強調整個韓國社會正在失去能量，如不改善終將潦倒。就我的觀察，無論本科系（例如：英國文學、人類學、機械工程等）的專業是什麼，我們學校多數畢業生的就業首選是公務員或進入公共企業任職（特別是金融機構），再來才會選擇去法學院進修或謀求大公司的職位。
成為公職人員，或進入公共企業，都是能夠被理解的選擇。我們不能說選擇主流偏好的職業是盲目或錯誤，因為每個人的考量都不盡相同。而韓國最優秀的學生（首爾國立大學學生）並不像大眾想的那般光彩。畢業後，還是必須遷就工作與生活，只能被迫暫時停下探索自我的腳步。國、高中時期，就像是競技場，學生倏地被丟進場內，雖然可以獲得一身應試本領，但走進大學後，他們卻無法明白為何而來，更難以發現自己的其他長處。在韓國，不僅20幾歲的年輕人，即使是3、40歲的人也會感到低潮，這些情況可能暗示韓國的教育和社會結構對人們施加的局限尚未解開。
「妳說自己也有過低潮，是什麼原因造成的，又是什麼轉變引導妳走出低潮期？」
雖然在韓國生活了20多年，我仍在努力尋找生活方向。今年冬天，在大學生涯即將結束之前，無法找到未來志向的我感到絕望。除了坐在床邊，無助地看著天花板，我不能做任何事情，因為幾乎所有的事情都讓我感到絕望。
但現在情況不同了！韓國有句古諺：「時間可以治癒所有傷痛。」生活中有很多煩人的事情是沒有辦法透過思考來解決的。隨著時間的流逝，有時情緒會低落，有時又會感到振奮而去嘗試新的事物。每個人一輩子都至少會經歷一次失去人生方向的經驗，有些人可以很快地走出低潮，也有些人會需要好幾年的時間來找到出口。我屬於後者。不斷挑戰自己、給自己很大的壓力，甚至不考慮自己的步伐，直到筋疲力盡為止。其實，我可以放慢腳步去認識自己和找尋自己喜歡的生活方式，因為這些不是在短時間內就可以回答的問題。迷失自我的時候感到焦慮是自然的。接受焦慮，會是一個改變的起點！將它視為一種動力，驅使我從社會壓力、時間限制和義務之中，找到真正的自己。追求自我的重要性越來越受到重視，社會上越來越多曾經歷過低潮的人，他們克服了消極心態，並積極創造生活。去年的我選擇休學可能會是一個很好的例子。
「對35歲以前的生活看法？」
「你的夢想是什麼？」我向來答的不好，因為我不能想像10年後的我將會做什麼。在我的字典裡只有幾個關鍵詞，如「人」和「靈感」等等。一路走來，許多人、書籍、電影及TED talks都給了我許多啟發，無論未來有多少挑戰，我會繼續尋找我的旅程，以及我能對社會帶來哪些影響。在35歲之前，我希望比現在更加地認識自己，找到更真實的自己。到35歲，我希望成為一個能夠激發自己的生活和靈感的人。
註1: 個人專長（Individual major）是美國大學培養具有特殊知識結構人才的一種專業設置。學生入學經過一年的學習，如果原本科專業不太感興趣，可以從學校的本科和研究生課程中按一定邏輯編排課程，形成自己的「個人專長」教學計劃。如果經過學校委員會審核通過後，學校會專門安排導師指導學生，按計劃獨立學習，畢業後可以獲得個人專業的畢業證書。參考資料：http://news.sciencenet.cn/htmlnews/2012/5/264153.shtm
What was your major in undergraduate? Do you like what you are studying in, why or why not?
The department of College of liberal studies in Seoul National University runs a peculiar system where students can create a major of their own. For example, Human Resource Development is a major I made when I was a junior. Although it already is an existing field of study, I decided to create this major because there isn’t a HRD major under the undergraduate curriculum, and because I can interpret and study HRD in the direction I want. The process of making a major goes like this. I gather information of all the classes of other majors and select courses I wish to add to my major. The constructed curriculum is then reviewed by our professors and once it is confirmed I become the first student to study under the newly made major.
Just as the name of our department suggests, I was able to study in a very liberal academic environment. Economics major in Seoul National University is also quite liberal, as our school believes a broad scope of knowledge is also important in becoming a great economist (other majors such as business administration is totally the opposite). Of course, there must be pros and cons in giving students freedom to choose what courses to take. For example, quite a lot of students complain that not enough guidelines are not given, and are burdened by the choices they have to make unlike students who have decided majors. Luckily, I felt great listening to courses I want to in a variety of fields ranging from pedagogy, psychology, economics, business administration, law, anthropology, etc.
It was different from high school, not having to listen to all the classes printed out each year, and being able to freely study what I feel interested in at the time. This really pulled out the true meaning and fun in learning. It was very exciting to see how different knowledge from seemingly distinct fields connect and come together, sparking new ideas that made the whole learning process very dynamic. To come back to the question again, did I enjoy what I am studying? A very definite YES.
Is your specialty not in favored by general industries in Korea? Could you share some of your classmates’ career after graduation?
Being lost in life can also be easily found in Korea. The new president just elected this month is faced with the worst youth unemployment rate in Korean history, up to 11% for three consecutive months. 400,000 university students which is almost the annual number of university graduates in Korea, try to become public servants which is thought as a more stable and a guaranteed job. Jim Rogers a famous American investor, once co-founder of Quantum Fund, cautioned such fever towards a stable job signals the Korean society is losing its energy and finally failing. I can almost say regardless of what was studied as an undergrad (English literature, anthropology, mechanical engineer, etc.), most students in our university decides 1) to become a public servant or enter a public enterprise (especially financial institutions) 2) go to law school or decides to 3) find a job in a large corporation.
In one side, such decisions to join the line of students to become a public servant or to find a job in the many public enterprises are understandable. I am also not saying that their decisions were made without much thinking or that they are wrong. They too must have had many reasons why they chose to follow the popular career paths. It is getting difficult to find a job by the day, and one cannot forever be dependent on one’s parents financially and socially. However, it is truly pitiful to watch the brightest students in Korea (attending Seoul National University), with diverse talents and interests eventually ending up in the similar workplaces. Having went through so much competition during middle and high school, students who have well adopted to the Korean education system and achieved great accomplishments(grades) ironically had no opportunity to spend time otherwise. They have not had the opportunity to deeply think about and find what they are mostly good at, what they find interesting, and what they love to do. It is quite difficult to start searching one’s interest after twenty years, and even for those who arduously search for their talents and dreams it is hard not to give up during the process as they become more and more realistic near graduation.
You’ve mentioned once in depression. The feeling that is kind of lost of direction in life is common among Taiwanese 20s. How about now? What change the state and turned it into a bit bright?
Such loss in direction, leading to a state of torpor and depression is not only found in the 20s but also in Korean 30s and 40s. This may be a hint towards the limitations in Korea’s education and social structure that we have not yet been able to solve. Spending my twenties in Korea, I also have and still is struggling to define my direction in life. Just this winter, unable to reach a conclusion and a career path I felt desperate as my senior year came close to an end. I could not do anything other than just sit around the bed, look at the ceiling, eyes out of focus, down and low about pretty much everything.
Personally, what changed my situation was time. In Korea, there is an old saying that goes ‘time heals all wounds’. Such concerns in life aren’t solved by putting more effort in thinking about them. You sometimes find answers out of the blue, or suddenly recover the energy to try new things as time goes. The experience of losing direction in life happens to anyone at least once in a lifetime. Some find their way out in fairly a short amount of time, while others may take years. As far as I’m concerned, I was with the latter group, only pushing myself I should go faster, trying whatever tasks given, not even considering my pace until I burned out. It is ok to go slower. Finding who I am, and how I want to live my life is not a simple question that should be answered as soon as possible. Feeling anxious when I am lost is natural. It’s just a change in the point of view: accepting anxiety as a drive to search for my true self away from all the social pressures, time constraint, duties, etc. and not as a negative feeling that one must overcome. Time is also passing for the Korean society. The importance of searching oneself is gaining attention, and more and more people once caught up in living the life society has framed for them are stepping out of their passive selves and becoming active in creating their life. A school established for leaving a company just last year could be one great example.
Visions toward life before 35?
I never have been able to quite answer the question “What is your dream?” Profession or career-wise I can hardly imagine what I will be doing about 10 years from now. What I only have as my compass is a few keywords such as ‘people’ ‘inspiration’ and such. I have walked my way up here being inspired by so many people around me and people I came across in books, movies and TED talks. No matter how many challenges there are, I will continue my journey searching who I am and what influence I can bring to the community. Before 35, I wish to better know me than I am today, living up to my true self. By 35, I hope to become a person who can spark motivation and give inspiration through my life.